The Ant Saga Continues

A little break in the report on our trip to South Africa to bring you up to date on the ants in Marty’s CPAP machine.  There has been nothing simple about this entire ordeal.  Who knew going on a safari in Africa would follow us to Washington? 

On Saturday, I started to take apart the humidifier – and I took it apart outside to keep the ants from getting loose inside the house.  Whoever built it used star screws, evidently to keep amateurs from taking it apart.  But, of course, they are not dealing with an amateur with me, so I find the right driver, and I take the bottom off – no problem – only a couple of ants in there, and they are quickly extinguished. 

Then I start taking the other piece apart.  There are three screws holding it together.  I am able to get two of the screws out, but the third one is in a hole that is smaller than the hex shaped driver I am using.  The hex bits are the ones that fit a drill or fit the handles that come with 6 heads so you only need to purchase one handle and the smaller bits.  Anyway, the screwdriver is too big.  I’m anxious to get it opened up and ants killed.  Can’t do it.

Unable to disassemble the humidifier, I turn my attention to the CPAP machine itself, same problem.  The holes are too small for the hex drive to fit, so I place all the parts in 2 zip lock bags and wait until I can get a screwdriver that will fit.  On the way to church that Saturday night, we stop at our friendly ACE hardware.  I take in the CPAP machine to make sure we get the right size screwdriver.  We do, $6.69 poorer, I leave the store. 

Sunday afternoon, the sun is shinning.  Cold outside, but at least it is not raining.  I get the CPAP machine apart and find 2 small shriveled up ants in there, and one is moving.  Quickly his life is snuffed out.  Clean. No more ants in the machine.  I put it back together and tackle the last screw on the humidifier.  Oh no!!  The screwdriver is too big for the screws in the humidifier.  I try a number of different ways, and after 23 minutes of searching, find a regular screwdriver that fits the star head.  I turn it; slowly the screw begins to move.  It releases its hold and reluctantly comes out.  The parts come apart revealing a plethora of ants.  I shake them on the bench I’m working on.  I crush them easily.  I shake and more fall to the deck.  They meet the same fate as the first group.  I shake again, no more ants come out.  I look inside.  The 17 remaining ants inside are holding on for dear life.  I shake, they hold on.  I reach my finger in and crush some of them; others flee to a small crevice.  I can’t get them out.  I get a small tool.  Too big.  I take them into the bathroom and put the part in the sink.  I learned that ants can stay underwater a long time, learned that in South Africa (see prior post), but I didn’t think they could stand hot water. I’m pouring on the water.  They hang on.  The water gets warmer.  They hang on.  The water gets hot.  They begin to give up the ghost.  I’m winning!!  I scrub.  I shake.  I pour hotter water on the little buggers.  I think I hear a cry as they let go and swirl down the drain.  Am I free from the curse of the African ants?  I look closer.  There are 4 still hanging on.  I get pour more hot water.  The last one lets go.  I examine all the parts.  ANT FREE!! 

I dry off the parts; I make sure there are no ants.  None.  I put the humidifier back together.  It goes together smoothly.  I make sure I have all the parts installed.  Whoops.  One ring is still in the sink.  I take it apart again.  The part fits nowhere.  But it has to.  It came out of the humidifier.  Where does it go?  I try all the places again.  Still it does not fit.  There is not place for that ring. Then I realize what had happened.  The ants brought that ring with them.  They must have used it as a play ring for the young ants.  It simply did not fit anywhere.  That must be how it got there.  The ants brought it in, just for the little ants to play with – and maybe to drive me buggy. 

Got it together, I keep the spare part in with my other spare parts.  I filled the humidifier with distilled water.  Turned it on.  The heater worked.  The machine worked.  Air came out the proper hole.  We are good to go.  I tell Marty the good news.  She looks at me incredulously and says, “I’m not using that thing!  Too many ant memories.” 

Anyone want to buy a slightly used CPAP machine with humidifier?